Understand the Other

Demetrius has a [good] testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself. And we also testify for him, and you know that our testimony is true. - 3 John 12

One thing I have learned over the years is that not everyone who opposes me is my enemy. For example, Demetrius opposed the work of John, but John said that he had a good testimony from everyone, including himself! He even stated that Demetrius' was a true follower of Christ. These two men had disagreed, but John refused to let that disagreement be a referendum on the character of his brother.

Three facts about relationships emerge from these two sentences. The first is this, anyone can make a mistake. We are frail and flawed human beings. Be gracious with one another. Second, everyone has an opinion. Their opinion might even be based in fact, but it can also come from a specific experience that gives them an altered perception. Finally, the problem often isn't in what has been said or done, but how it has been said or done, and the key to maintaining a good relationship is in understanding the difference between the two.

Seek to understand not just the positions of others, but also the "other" behind the position.

One of the obvious origins of human disagreement lies in the use of noises for words. - Alfred Korzybski